Well Being
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NLP, Life Coach, & Clinical Hypnotherapist

Paul Kelly

About Paul

USING THE NATURAL WORLD

THERAPY GROUNDED IN NATURE

Eco Therapy

Enhancing your competitive edge

Performance Coaching

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Well Being Coaching

There are times in our lives when we can feel stuck, unhappy, confused and just downright down!! We just wish it would change. We think long and hard about it how we can change, what we would change it for, what we could do if it changed, just really wishing for this change, but how often do we take the steps to make these changes?

 

We look to the past to identify our mistakes then worry about them happening in the future, often creating self-fulfilling prophecies. All the while forgetting to live in the present.

 

What a lot of us do not realise is that all we are doing is following the habits and behaviours which have developed over years and years of practice. Habits and behaviours no different than learning to walk, to tie your shoelaces or use a knife and fork.

 

The great thing is that all habits are changeable!

 

To assist in making this a reality I use a blend of modalities  to create personal plans to assist you in changing unwanted behaviours/habits, procrastination, or phobias. Whether it is looking for direction in life, quitting smoking, improving confidence, relationships, overcoming stress and anxiety, to name but a few areas we can assist with.

 

My approach is to work with you as an individual and not make you fit into a certain box. I love the science behind the modalities I use and understanding the psychology of the brain and how this can impact the body through biopsychology.

 

During our sessions I will help you to understand why you are feeling the way you are. This is an important step as it creates a foundation for you to move forward from. Learn how to identify and stop triggers, equip you with tools for your toolbox so you are empowered to take charge of your life and steer it in the direction you want it to go.

 

Some of the issues we regularly support our clients through are:

The above tabs contain some of the regular issues I have helped with.  It is by no means a comprehensive or definitive list.  It gives a brief description and some information on how we might work through the issue.

 

If you have any questions then please email them to me or we can arrange a free 20 minute consultation to discuss.

Anger is a natural emotion most of us have to deal with at some point and as a natural emotion has a purpose but occasionally due to varying situations it can become detrimental to our lives.

 

Anger is often a misunderstood emotion and often only recognised by its aggressive behaviour of possibly shouting, swearing, slamming doors, lashing out or throwing things and being physically violent or verbally abusive and threatening towards others. This is what we recognise as outward aggression.
Although in general this behaviour is not useful and can be detrimental! It is worth bearing in mind that as a natural emotion it isn’t always necessarily a ‘bad’ emotion. In fact, it can sometimes be useful. For example, feeling angry about something can:

 

  • help us identify problems or things that are hurting us
  • motivate us to create change, achieve our goals and move on
  • help us stay safe and defend ourselves in dangerous situations by giving us a burst of energy as part of our fight or flight system.

 

So as a normal, healthy emotion, what causes it? Anger as the emotion is usually triggered when we might feel:

 

  • attacked
  • deceived
  • frustrated
  • invalidated or unfairly treated

 

As well as outward aggression, anger can also be displayed as inward aggression – such as telling yourself that you hate yourself, putting yourself down, telling yourself that you are useless, ugly, can’t do anything right , etc or denying yourself your basic needs (like food, or things that might make you happy), cutting yourself off from the world and self-harming.

 

Non-violent or passive aggression – such as ignoring people or refusing to speak to them, refusing to do tasks, or deliberately doing things poorly, late or at the last possible minute, and being sarcastic or sulky while not saying anything explicitly aggressive or angry.

 

How you behave when you’re angry depends on how well you’re able to identify and cope with your feelings, and how you’ve learned to express them. Early experiences or past and current situations may have lead you to deal with your anger in a certain way. Whilst most people will experience episodes of anger which feel manageable and don’t have a big impact on their lives, for some it can be having major detrimental impacts.

 

I will work with you to help you understand your anger and what the root cause may be, so you can build awareness of the situations where your anger may be causing issues. We will then create strategies, tools and techniques so you can have full awareness of your feelings and choose how you want to react to a certain situation.

Anxiety and stress are often used  interchanged to mean the same thing and both can have a detrimental effect on the body.    Both are caused by the brain detecting something overwhelming, worrying or dangerous to us.  Stress is caused when any demand is placed on the brain or body.  Often portrayed as a negative thing as we often look at the end of the spectrum when we have become overstressed, however a certain amount of stress can be harnessed to give us an edge if we stay within the optimised stress zone.  

 

Anxiety however  is a feeling of fear, worry, or unease. It can be a reaction to stress, but  can occur in people who are unable to identify significant stressors in their life.  This may be due to them running unconscious patterns that they are unaware of.

As previously mentioned stress and anxiety are not always bad. In the short term, they can help you overcome a challenge or dangerous situation. or actually aid us in performing better.  Examples of everyday stress and anxiety include worrying about finding a job, dealing with finances, relationships, feeling nervous before a big test, or being embarrassed in certain social situations. If we did not experience some anxiety we might not be motivated to do things that we need to do (for instance, studying for that big test!) or even demotivated to do things that we should not be doing or dangerous.

 

However, if stress and anxiety begin interfering with your daily life, it may indicate a more serious issue. If you are avoiding situations due to irrational fears, constantly worrying, or experiencing severe anxiety about a traumatic event weeks after it happened, having panic attacks then you may want to consider seeking some assistance.

 

Stress and Anxiety can also cause a lot of physical symptoms that go unrecognised as stress and anxiety, such as:

 

  • digestion issues
  • tight neck and shoulders
  • tension headaches
  • rapid breathing
  • fast heartbeat
  • sweating
  • shaking
  • dizziness
  • frequent urination
  • change in appetite
  • trouble sleeping
  • diarrhoea
  • fatigue

 

All these are caused by an over activation of the sympathetic nervous system.

 

Contract us to receive a free questionnaire that may help in recognising some of the symptoms you may be running.

 

Stress and anxiety behaviours that occur frequently or seem out of proportion to the stressor may be lead to anxiety disorders such as:

 

Generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) is a common anxiety disorder characterized by uncontrollable worrying. Sometimes people worry about bad things happening to them or their loved ones, and at other times they may not be able to identify any source of worry.

 

Panic disorder is a condition that causes panic attacks, which are moments of extreme fear accompanied by a pounding heart, shortness of breath, and a fear of impending doom.

 

Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a condition that causes flashbacks or anxiety as the result of a traumatic experience.

 

Social phobia is a condition that causes intense feelings of anxiety in situations that involve interacting with others.

 

Obsessive-compulsive disorder is a condition that causes repetitive thoughts and the compulsion to complete certain ritual actions.

 

The issue  with stress & anxiety is that it can often feel irrational – you know you shouldn’t feel anxious, you might even know you don’t need to feel anxious, but you do. So how can you possibly stop it?

 

the thing to remember is that “You are not broken”  your body is reacting exactly the way it should to a stress factor, the issue is it is being over used by over focus on the issue whether that is conscious or unconscious.  Once the over thinking is calmed the body can return to a balanced place and all those other good feeling will come back.

 

We work together to identify the thought patterns that lead to those feelings. As soon as these unconscious thought patterns are bought out into the light and made conscious, they can be challenged.  Then we can equip you with the tolls and techniques you require to find life’s balance.

Get in touch to find out how we can help you.

Depression often can feel like an inescapable black hole. For some it can be so severe it prevents them living a healthy life. We all go through life it id like a roller coaster, there are periods of joy and happiness and periods where we can feel low and feeling down  However when you’re depressed you the feelings of being low and down can leave you persistently sad for weeks or months, rather than just a few days.


Some people think depression is trivial and not a genuine health condition.

 

They would be very wrong – it is a real illness with real symptoms. Depression is not a sign of weakness or something you can “snap out of” by “pulling yourself together”.

 

Depression can present very similar signs and symptoms to those of Anxiety and Stress and can range from mild to severe.

 

It can be a debilitating and very hard to explain to anyone exactly how you feel, but it is real.

 

Talking therapies are one of the recommended approaches for assisting with depression.

 

My approach is to help raise your awareness to your depression, enable you to spot the triggers and assist you in creating coping strategies for these triggers.  I use a combination of cognitive models and techniques, combined with breathing and clinical hypnotherapy as well as other tried and tested tools in helping overcome depression and find balance.

 

The good news is that with the right treatment and support, most people with depression can make a full recovery.

 

 

We have proven techniques that can help lift your mood and help you regain control.

Irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) is a common condition that affects the digestive system. It causes symptoms like stomach cramps, bloating, diarrhoea and constipation.

 

These can tend to come and go over time, and can last for days, weeks or months at a time, although can be very frustrating to live with and can have a big impact on your everyday life.

 

IBS is just about the most common disorder of the digestive system and up to one-third of the population experience symptoms from time to time., and one of the most common reasons for a visit to the GP.

 

In treatment plans it has been shown that Hypnotherapy and Cognitive approaches can be useful in working with IBS.

 

I have worked with numerous people with digestive issues and with a combination of hypnotherapy, Buteyko Breathing Method exercises and Cognitive models, help to settle it down.

So guys – Why do you have your own wee tab??

 

 

Lets have look at a few statistics:

 

 

Women compared to men are twice as likely to be prescribed medication for Mental Health issues – and Men are a lot less likely to access psychological therapies than women, with only 36% of referrals being men, reflecting men tend to suffering in silence!

 

 

At any time 12.5% or 1 in 8 of men in the UK are suffering from one of the common mental health disorders, yet will not seek assistance with it.

 

 

Survey findings, revealed that men were more likely to turn to alcohol as a result of high stress levels, with almost one in three men in the UK (31%) reporting that they had started drinking alcohol or increased the amount of alcohol they drank.

 

Alongside drinking more alcohol, men were twice as likely as women to report using illegal drugs when feeling stressed. The equivalent of over 2 million men in the UK who had experienced stress said that they started or are using illegal drugs as a result.  Compare this to 850,000 women said they had used illegal drugs to deal with stress.

On a side note – whilst it is documented that Gambling can increase due to Mental Health issues, I cannot find any direct statistics, however from my experiences of working with men – gambling, like alcohol and drugs are used to a greater degree to deal with stress factors.

Overall, two in three men in the UK (67%) said that they felt so stressed at some point over the last years they felt overwhelmed or unable to cope.

One in three (29%) men have experienced suicidal thoughts as a result of feeling overwhelming stress.

And yet only less than one in four (24%) men who have felt high levels of stress, have discussed this with a friend or family member.

One third of Men who are having some form of Mental Health issue will tend to wait up to two years  before asking for help and 28% of men who have mental do not seek medical help for their mental health problems – choosing to never to get help!

Having read this, now consider:

around 78%* of suicides are by men and suicide is the biggest cause of death for men under 50 in the UK

In Scotland there are on average 2 deaths by suicide every day!

 

As men, to some degree we are conditioned not to show weakness, “to suck it up”, “just get on with it”!

We understand that when a bone breaks – we seek help, it will mend but it will take time.

We sometimes advertise the fact – get people to sign our casts.  Accept the fact that we can not do what we normally did for a short while and often we will accept help!

 

When it come to matters of the mind – things we do not really understand or can’t explain fully then, well we just sweep it under the carpet – and get on with it!

But do we –

mental health issues are real!

They do not just go away!

If anything, they fester and grow just like a wound going septic and spreading.

Mental Health issues not only affect us mentally but also physically, emotionally, and behaviourally.

They affect hose around us as we lose our sense of humour, purpose, we are quick to react, get frustrated easily – find ourselves getting worked up for no reason – withdrawing… and so on!

As men we seriously need to shake the stigma of mental health.

 

When I first started offering these services, round 95% of my clients were female – 8 years later I am around 65% male clients, yet very few of them would like others to know they have been for coaching.

 

Guys – it is ok not to be ok!

 

Mental Health issues cause real physiological and psychological reactions in the body.  All of which can be explained.  You are not broken, but rather like a car engine that has been over revved for way to long and over worked – its needs a service and tune up – do this for the car and it runs better – just imagine how much more enjoyable life could be if you were functioning to your full potential.

 

It’s time to talk – talk to anyone – share – you may be surprised how many others are feeling the same way.

 

If you wish to discuss anything then please drop me a line and I can explain further – you are not alone

 

Please see the resource section for further sources of information and help.

Phobias are a type of anxiety disorder. It is an extreme form of fear or anxiety triggered by a particular situation or object , even when there is no danger.
Someone with a phobia may even feel this extreme anxiety just by thinking or talking about the particular situation or object. There is no limit to what you can create a phobia over!  There is no silly phobia, if it detracts from you living your life the way you want to then it is not silly or irrationals. 

 

Sometimes there is no obvious explanation as to why a phobia develops or it may be linked to a particular incidents or traumas, a learned responses, picked up in early life or a certain response to panic or fear. If you have a strong reaction (or panic attack) in response to a particular situation or object, and you find this embarrassing or people around you react strongly, it can cause you to develop more intense anxiety about being in that situation again. It may also be caused by long-term stress when you are over vigilant which can cause feelings of anxiety and depression, and reduce your ability to cope in particular situations. This can make you feel more fearful or anxious about being in those situations again and, over a long period,  could lead to you developing a phobia. 

 

The NICE guidelines recommends talking therapies in the treatment of Phobias and it can actually be a fairly easy straight forward process to do. 

 

Using a blend of modalities I work  to firstly help you understand the phobia from a physiological perspectives and then tackle it from different perspectives to totally break it down, allowing you to live your life the way you wish to live it.

 

Get in touch if you would like top know more or book a free 20 minute consultation to discuss.

Seasonal affective disorder (SAD) is a type of depression that you may experience during particular seasons or times of year. Depression is a low mood that lasts for a long time, and affects your everyday life.

If you have SAD, you may experience depression during some seasons in particular, or because of certain types of weather. It has been said it is like having your own personally black cloud.

Our techniques can help you minimise the effects of Seasonal affective disorder (SAD) is a type of depression that comes and goes in a seasonal pattern.

SAD is sometimes known as “winter depression” because the symptoms are usually more apparent and more severe during the winter.

A few people with SAD may have symptoms during the summer and feel better during the winter.

Symptoms of SAD can include:

  • a persistent low mood
  • a loss of pleasure or interest in normal everyday activities irritability
  • feelings of despair, guilt and worthlessness
  • feeling lethargic (lacking in energy) and sleepy during the day
  • sleeping for longer than normal and finding it hard to get up in the morning
  • craving carbohydrates and gaining weight

 

For some people, these symptoms can be severe and have a significant impact on their day-to-day activities.

 

What causes SAD?
The exact cause of SAD isn’t fully understood, but it’s often linked to reduced exposure to sunlight during the shorter autumn and winter days.
The main theory is that a lack of sunlight might stop a part of the brain called the hypothalamus working properly, which may affect the:
production of melatonin – melatonin is a hormone that makes you feel sleepy; in people with SAD, the body may produce it in higher than normal levels
production of serotonin – serotonin is a hormone that affects your mood, appetite and sleep; a lack of sunlight may lead to lower serotonin levels, which is linked to feelings of depression body’s internal clock (circadian rhythm) – your body uses sunlight to time various important functions, such as when you wake up, so lower light levels during the winter may disrupt your body clock and lead to symptoms of SAD

 

It’s also possible that some people are more vulnerable to SAD as a result of their genes, as some cases appear to run in families.

 

The main treatments are:

  • lifestyle measures – including getting as much natural sunlight as possible,
  • exercising regularly and managing your stress levels
  • light therapy – where a special lamp called a light box is used to simulate exposure to sunlight
  • talking therapies – such as cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) or counselling

Get in touch to find out how I can help you.

Smoking of tobacco and tobacco-related products have a long history that stretches back to 6,000 BC. The plant today known as tobacco, or Nicotiana tabacum, is a member of the nicotiana genus – a close relative to the poisonous nightshade and could previously only be found in the Americas.

 

Cigarettes came to the height of their popularity during the First and the Second World War, when they were even marketed as good for you!

 

Tobacco companies sent millions of packs of cigarettes to soldiers on the front lines, creating hundreds of thousands of faithful and addicted consumers in the process. Cigarettes were even included into soldiers’ C-rations – which contained mostly food and supplements, along with cigarettes.

 

The 1920s were also the period when tobacco companies started marketing heavily to women, creating brands such as ‘Mild as May’ to try to feminize the habit and make it more appealing to women. The number of female smokers in the United States tripled by 1935.

 

Today about 114,000 people in the UK die each year due to smoking.  Smoking is a learned habit, that the brain believes at some level is good for you, even with all the facts to show otherwise.  To assist you in becomg a non smoker I have devised a 5 stage multi modal plan that moves you from where you are to a non smoker. 

 

The first stage is a two week diary task and questionaire with two 15 minunte calls, all of which is free. 

 

This stage is important as it gathers all the information we require for the following stages and allows you to check if you are ready to undertake this change.  

 

If you would like to know more please contact us asking for the smoking cessation sheet or book a free 20 minute consultation to discuss.

Suicide is…

I have a few options available to assist you with your Weight Management

 

Option 1:

A registered Hypno-Band practitioner

The World’s No.1 Gastric Band Hypnotherapy System

The Hypno-Band is the World Leader in gastric band hypnotherapy and is the original Virtual Gastric Band method in UK, USA, Australia and many more countries.

 

Using a combination of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and Hypnotherapy our practitioners will help your change your eating habits forever! If you are really committed to losing weight then the Hypno-Band will help you to achieve your goals.

 

Designed for those with a BMI over 25 the Hypno-Band is a safe, risk free and cheap alternative to Gastric Band Surgery.

 

Option 2:

A personal trainer for the brain

A different approach to the Hypno-band where we focus on changing eating and exercise poor habits to replace them with positive ones.  This approach focuses more on the mind/body connection working on both at the same time with a wider scope of change.

 

Option 3:

Emotional Therapy

Emotional aspects of eating may need to be cleared up first before moving on to the hypno-band or the personal trainer for the brain options.

 

Not sure which is right for you, then get in contact as I offer a free 20 minute consultation where we can discuss all the options and see which one is best for you.

 

All three options of weight management come with a free pre-session two week diary task and tw0 20 minutes calls, to ensure we have good information prior to commencing and you are happy with the process before any payments need to be made.